55. Encouragement for single Christians

from a single Christian

Click for Hymns for the Lonely YouTube Playlist (Listen while you read)

Jesus fills the gap

Are you lonely?
“He hath said, I will never leave thee” (Heb 13:5).
He sends you flowers every spring, and He won’t forget about you. Meditate on Him. (Matthew 6:30)

Do you wish you could spend an evening watching the sunset with your beloved?
Remember that your greatest Lover made the sunset for you to enjoy. Watch it with Him. (1Tim. 6:17)

Do you wish you could walk hand in hand with your beloved?
Remember the One who holds your hand and says, “Fear not” (Isaiah 41:13). You are in His hand (John 10:28). Walk with Him.

Do you long for children to love, teach and nurture for God?
Seek to win souls for Christ, and you will find that you have children to love, teach and nurture (1Cor. 4:15). Witness for Him.

Do you long to look into the eyes of your beloved?
Anticipate that day when you “shall see His face” (Rev. 22:4). Wait and watch expectantly for Him.

Do you long to have someone to share your love and secrets with?
Cherish time in secret with your Bridegroom in heaven (John 14:21). Talk with Him.

Jesus is what none other can ever be

Earthly partners will fall short. They will never satisfy the deepest needs of your soul. Only Christ can truly fill and satisfy the heart, and only He is perfectly suited to meet your need. Give your heart to Him in worship, and He will fill it to overflowing.

The love of an earthly partner may grow dim. The love of Christ is unchanging, enduring, unending, and beyond our understanding (Rom. 8:39, Eph. 3:19).

An earthly partner may not be attentive to your needs. Christ, your Great High Priest, is ever aware of your need, and is touched by your feelings and necessities (Heb. 4:15).

An earthly partner gives a precious ring. Christ gave His priceless life for you, and gave the Spirit as the guarantee of your inheritance (Eph. 5:25, 1:14).

Who made your heart with the capability to love? Who is love in Himself? Surely in Him is love to satisfy the most thirsty soul, and there could be no greater lover than Love Himself.

Jesus is the greatest Lover

The Lord Jesus said, “He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him” John 14:21.

“If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.” John 14:23.

“And I have declared unto them thy name, and will declare it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them” John 17:26.

The love of the Lord Jesus is a personal, individual love. He would have gone to Calvary just for you. Each individual is important to Him, as if there were no one else but you.

The love of the Lord is a constant, ever-present love. You need only seek Him to know that love is there.

Spend time with your Beloved today, and tell Him how much He means to you.

Songs to sing when you’re feeling lonely

 

His eye is on the sparrow
Give me Jesus

Lean on Me
Oh, the deep, deep love of Jesus
Deep, deep love version 2
Oh love, that will not let me go
You’ll never walk alone
Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Eagles Wings
Above all
As the deer
More precious than silver
How deep the Father’s love for us
O glorious love
Power of Your love
My Jesus I love Thee
There is none like You

Dealing with inner struggles

Pride expects things for myself, as if I deserved them, and consequently has no reason to be thankful. Humility understands that God’s favor and blessings are undeserved, and every good and perfect gift comes from His loving hand.

Appreciation for living for God can be seen in an African missionary’s words, “Say not sacrifice, but privilege.” The Lord Jesus said, “If any man will come after me, let him take up his cross, and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). That is sacrifice. The early disciples rejoiced to be counted worthy to suffer for His name. That is privilege. Following Christ is a privilege, and it will mean showing our love to Christ by giving up things that we naturally want for ourselves, out of love to Him. I wonder if my spiritual condition is such that I could do the same? When we can, Christ will grow nearer in our hearts, and we will have learned an invaluable lesson that will put us in good stead the rest of our lives, whether married or single.

We need to understand that all things are in God’s control (Ephesians 1:11). If I am single, then He has allowed that or determined that for a purpose. It is not my place to blame my all-knowing, all-powerful Guide and Lord, but to accept the will of the One who called me to serve Him.

With whatever trying circumstance, one can seek to forget, busy oneself with activity, rise above it, drown in it, or, in contrast, accept it from God. Elizabeth Elliot included a poem by Amy Carmichael in her book Loneliness: It can be a Wilderness. It can be a Pathway to God (also here?) included below:

For in Acceptance Lieth Peace

He said, “I will forget the dying faces;
The empty places,
They shall be filled again.
O voices moaning deep within me, cease.”
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in forgetting lieth peace.

He said, “I will crowd action upon action,
The strife of faction
Shall stir me and sustain;
O tears that drown the fire of manhood, cease.”
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in endeavor lieth peace.

He said, “I will withdraw me and be quiet,
Why meddle in life’s riot?
Shut be my door to pain.
Desire, thou dost befool me, thou shalt cease.”
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in aloofness lieth peace.

He said, “I will submit; I am defeated.
God hath depleted
My life of its rich gain.
O futile murmurings, why will ye not cease?”
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in submission lieth peace.

He said, “I will accept the breaking sorrow
Which God tomorrow
Will to His son explain.”
Then did the turmoil deep within him cease.
Not vain the word, not vain;
For in Acceptance lieth peace.

– Amy Carmichael

Why might God desire for me to be single?

We don’t always know God’s reasons. But here are a few ideas that could be reasons for singleness:

  • Paul explains in 1Corinthians 7 that singleness may allow me to better serve the Lord, and bring greater blessing to others than if I were married. Some work can best be done when single, without the cares and needs of a family to attend to. Though caring for one’s family is truly living for God, it is not directly related to ministering to God’s people or winning the lost (though it may very well be viewed as preparing young hearts to have lives for Christ). It may even be that this service is only temporary, and after it is complete, marriage will take place.
  • Perhaps I am not ready for married life and have not yet learned the lessons necessary for a healthy, God-honoring marriage.
  • Only the Lord knows the future. He knows what could happen if I were to marry. Perhaps a single life would shield from unforeseen evils, pain, or suffering.
  • Perhaps God has not brought Mr. or Miss Right into my life yet.
  • God may have some lessons for me to learn as a single individual before marriage that I could not learn otherwise. For instance, if the pain of loneliness causes me to come into a deeper knowledge of the presence of Christ and a greater intimacy with Him, then that single life will be well worth it. Perhaps the Lord would like to teach me a lesson in patience and waiting on Him. If I fight it, it may simply prolong my singleness. If I learn His lesson and bow my will to His, He will lead me on.

Panic Attack

Perhaps you are saying, “But I’m getting older! I don’t have much time left. The time is running out!”

The Bible says in response, “the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none….” A day is coming when none will be married except to Christ, when the sorrows and trials of this life will give way to the “far better” life that is eternal (Phil. 1:23). The treasures of earth will fade into insignificance in the splendor of the glories of heaven. Then the single Christian who lived his/her life for God will receive a special glory that is greater than sons and daughters (Isaiah 56:5).

Accept God’s best from God’s hand. Realize that God is in control, and God’s time is always best. Let your panic turn into fervent prayer, and look to the Lord for the needed strength.

Along with this, we must note that God does give

A note of balance

Marriage was God’s general desire for mankind from the beginning (Genesis 2:18). Many can actually serve God more effectively in their sphere married than single.

If a person is on your heart, let God guide. Pray much. Marriage is a life commitment. You will have to live with the one you marry for a lifetime. Make sure they are God’s pick, not just yours.

To desire a single life for Christ is honorable, but if you simply cannot do it without giving in to temptation, then God instructs to marry (1Cor. 7:37), for our own preservation and holiness, but only in the LORD (1Cor. 7:39). (That means I should not allow the physical attraction that I have toward an individual to be my direction, but I should make sure that the one I marry is bowing to the will and ways of the Lord in his/her life.)

Further reading:

Truth and Tidings has helpful articles on singleness.

Single and Satisfied
Single yet Secure
Single and Sanctified
Single and Significant
Single and Spiritual
Single and Serving
The Woman of God
Gains and Pains of the Single Life

Please share!

What has helped you to accept God’s plan and purpose for your life?

What blessings have you found from a single life?

2 thoughts on “55. Encouragement for single Christians

  • November 25, 2012 at 10:01 pm
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    thankyou so much for sharing this it has encouraged me beyond words.im 22 years old and i have always had a great desire to be married and have a family.sometimes i get frustrated because it hasnt happened yet.i have come to realize that singlness is as much of a gift as marriage.it is a time for me and God to build an intimate relationship.the source of my joy and peace comes from him and not anything else.God desires to fulfill our desires even more than we desire them but He has a perfect time for everything.He does everything He does out of such great love we cant even imagine.It is not just me looking for a mate but God and i are looking for someone together to fit into our relationship.When that day comes it will be an amazing day and i know God will have me exactly where I need to be.so i look forward to the future and i enjoy this day today .

    Reply
  • November 25, 2012 at 10:04 pm
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    Wow, Leah, your note is an encouragement to me, too, and you have contributed a lot to the article by your comments. May the Lord bless you and guide you in His perfect way and time.

    Reply

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